Eighth Grade (2018)***

Eighth Grade ended I felt different. I was and still am unsure how I feel about this movie, but the very fact that I'm still digesting it confirms that it did get its hooks in and well, I guess I like it. I even want to watch it again just to see if I get anything else out of it a few days later.

Eighth Grade follows Kayla's last few days of middle school and the viewer gets a gander into what felt like a realistic suburban-adolescent-not-popular girl's life. There's sooooooo much awkwardness! But I was able to ride along with her for the stomach clenching, the butterflies and irrational angry outbursts. Elsie Fisher was amazing and so authentic and intense as Kayla. I was very drawn into her character. The movie had an intensifying pace, building gradually, but without rushing to a feel-good ending.

This isn't a movie I can watch over and over, but I do think it is well-made and Elsie gave an award-worthy performance. Eighth Grade falls on the Cinematic Masterpiece end of the rating scale and gets three*** stars.

Ali's Wedding (2017)***

Ali's Wedding is a based-on-a-true-story dramedy about an Iranian-born guy living with his family in Australia who is trying so hard to please his family that he pushes his own desires to margins, leading him to tell a lie that snowballs into a crazy funny, but potentially life-long miserable situation. I'm not a huge fan of comedies, but this one was very charming. I loved the characters and the relatable look into Muslim-religious life, especially dating. If you want to simplify this movie, you could call it the My-Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding for Muslims!

This movie was definitely Fun, I wouldn't call it a Cinematic Masterpiece, but it wasn't cheesy either. It gets three stars*** because I would definitely watch it again.

I watched this on Netflix. If you decide to watch it, turn on the captions because some scenes include other languages that aren't translated on screen.

Coffee Shop (2014)***

Coffee Shop, starring kind-of known Laura Vandervoot and featuring a more-than-cameo appearance by Kevin Sorbo, is a Christian-lite cheesy romance that I found to be well-produced except for the terrible voice dubbing. A coffee shop owner in a small town is faced with possibly losing her place of business when three different men walk into the shop (not all at the same time), each of which present different pathways for her to choose from. Two of the options include romance. Choose your own business adventure... Coffee Shop!

This falls into the Fun category, so bad its good, and gets three stars*** because I could watch it again.

I watched this on Netflix.

Movie: The Wife (2018)***

In The Wife, Glen Close illustrated "the act" that so many women have to do. That we're okay with what's happening around us - sometimes acting as if appalling and offensive behavior is not out of the ordinary. "Oh! Look at little Billy peeing in your rose bushes! Those boys!" 

The Wife & Collette (2018) were about women who were talked into being overshadowed by their male partners. Allowing their skills to be overtaken. What The Wife brought to the similar stories was a sense of seriousness and focus. Flashbacks of the younger version of the wife were played by Close's daughter and painted a picture for the audience of how it came to be. But Close's skill showed us how it boiled over and the relief she felt once the truth was revealed. Close's performance was a masterclass of facial expression, contorting her face into a plastic contentment tinged with pain and disgust.

See The Wife, if you haven't already because of the powerful acting it offers the audience, but also see it as a fictional creative piece straight out of the Me Too era.

Big Love (2006 - 2011)***

I'm re-watching Big Love, a show that was one of HBO's early golden era offerings and that I watched religiously (Ha!) when it originally aired.

Big Love starts out great. I binged season 1 and 2 easily. It is a fast-paced, intricately plotted, character-driven show about faith and relationships in a world full of secrets covered by shiny, righteous smiles. Each show is high-drama and hopeful at the same time with a large cast of likeable, flawed and sympathetic characters. But along with DoctorBlake Mysteries, The Mentalist, and so many other shows and films, the central character of Big Love, Bill, is what I have come to call the Lucky Reckless Man.

As with all shows that have this Lucky Reckless Man trope, Bill is surrounded by amazing people with dynamic stories and that's what keeps me coming back for more. By season 3 and definitely in season 4 it becomes more obvious how horrible and selfish Bill is. He puts everyone close to him in physical, spiritual and emotional danger with his schemes stacked upon shaky schemes. Like a stupid superhero, he reveals his plans to his adversaries then believes that his faith will make things happen. And it does. He either has dumb luck or an eyes-half-shut Heavenly Father.

My favorite episode is season 3, episode 6, Come, Ye Saints, where the Henrickson family goes on a Mormon pilgrimage, visiting sacred landmarks along the way. Bill is shocked because he finally stops his scheming long enough to take a good look at his family only to see how unhappy they are. All the while other issues rise up like the angel Moroni.

I hate that I wrote a paragraph about how horrible Bill is, but the show and the other awesome characters wouldn't be if it weren't for him and his scheming, so I'll continue to re-watch until the end of the season, which if I can remember correctly, is very fulfilling. Bye, Bill.

This fall into Fun because I will probably watch it again, and it gets three stars ***. Geez.
I rewatched this on Amazon. 

The Staircase (2004 - 2018)**

Originally, I started watching The Staircase because I woke up way too early one morning, so I got through episodes 1 - 6 while I was half asleep! A few weeks later, my best friend started talking about a new show he was fixin' to watch and it sounded familiar. I soon realized he was talking about The Staircase! After that conversation, I re-watched episode 2 and saw so much that I must have slept through during the first viewing, including the fact that these approximately 50 minute episodes were entirely too long and could use some better storyline guidance including cutting some excessively long scenes and adding more explanatory text or narration. Sophie Gilbert summarizes this up perfectly in her article about the show by noting a “distinct feeling of passivity” on the director's part.  

The basic story of The Staircase is rather interesting: Michael Peterson is accused of beating his wife and pushing her down some stairs to her death. He claims she fell because she was drunk and stoned on Valium. The show is a documentary following the preparation and litigation of the defense's case. Of course there were several reveals. Now I am one for a good crime mystery, but The Staircase is just executed in an uninteresting way and maybe more importantly, it was too long. Cut! Cut! Cut!

THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. READ AT THE PERIL OF YOUR OWN SURPRISE!

I thought I was done with this review and I wasn't going to finish watching the show, but I kept on for some reason (TV addiction) and I'm kind of glad I did because episodes 9 – 13 were much better than 1 – 8. It was as if the crew took the time after Peterson was convicted of murder to learn how to make a good documentary. Then they applied that knowledge to the episodes that followed the re-opening of the case and his release from prison.

Overall, I found this series to be closer to Not Fun on the scale and I'd give it two stars** because I watched the whole series, but I don't ever want to watch it again.

If you found this case intriguing, also check out this article: 9 Interesting Things About Kathleen and Michael Peterson That Were Left Out of “The Staircase.” https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/a21562822/did-michael-peterson-kill-kathleen-peterson-the-staircase-debt-money-motive/

I watched The Staircase on Netflix. 

Movie: Beatriz at Dinner**

Photo by Dante

Beatriz at Dinner is an unhurried, character-focused, bleak drama about a holistic health
practitioner who is invited to stay for her employer’s business dinner because her car broke down at the employer’s house. I watched it on Amazon.

My reaction during the movie:
I knew what was going to happen as soon as she tried to start her car. The whole time my stomach is just wrenching. I keep saying Why? Why did you invite her to dinner? Why did she decide to stay? Why did she cut off of the maitre’d? Why is she still drinking? Why did they not call AAA? Why did she leave the bedroom? What the hell?!
My thoughts after:
Beatriz At Dinner made me think of Mother, which was completely unrealistic, yet a commentary on realistic society. Whereas BAD (Yeah. It does spell bad) is completely realistic and trying to explore social classes and cultural bias, but is unable to fulfill that intended subject matter because there is not one likable character in this movie, not even the main character. BAD turned out to be a movie about what not to do. Do not NOT take care of your car. Do not invite a friendly service person to your very important business dinner. Do not cut off the maitre’d announcing the menu. Do not insult and throw a phone at one of the invited guests.
I found that Beatriz spent so much time trying to be this pure, vegan, healing, soulful person, that she didn’t realize how selfish she was acting during the dinner and if this movie was any indication, maybe throughout her life. She violated people’s space by giving everyone a full-body hug. She was rude to the main guest at dinner. She was inconsiderate of her  so-called-friend, who invited her to stay.
I listened to the Filmweek segment about this movie and I’m apparently way off from the critics. They thought this film was great and the acting by John Lithgow and Salma Hayek was amazing. Apparently, they saw it right after the inauguration of Donald Trump, so they though Lithgow’s character was quite similar and the movie was an “allegory of the Trump era.” It seems like they saw Beatriz as a representative for the downtrodden, which again, I would have agreed with if she was only likable. I saw one trailer that made her look as intrusive as the Brady Bunch’s Alice. Then I saw another trailer that made John Lithgow’s character to be the embodiment of evil.
I also noticed two actors from the horrible, yet addictive show, Transparent in this movie. A show about a family full of unlikeable people.
It turns out the director and writer have worked together twice before. I only know about The Good Girl (2002) that okay movie with Jennifer Anniston and Jake Gyllenhaal and Enlightened, which I never watched on HBO.
On the Nitpix scale, this movie falls into the Not Fun zone. On my scale it gets two stars**.
Next day addendum: From her behavior it is clear that Beatriz was experiencing a mental breakdown that started during the massage scene. If you can relate to Beatriz and need to talk to someone, please call the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
800-950-NAMI, Mon - Fri 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST or find help in a crisis by texting NAMI to 741741.

Rating Scales Collide!

So it has been a long time since I posted a review to TSIMD. Frankly, it's been a long while since I've posted to any of my blogs. One of the excuses I kept telling myself was I needed a better rating scale.

Well, I stumbled upon a movie rating scale that made so much sense to me that I decided to "liberate" it, as I have learned to call borrowing. Thank you Nitpix (Click to see the video and FF to 1:32).

Movies are either fun, or not fun. How much more simple can it be? Some movies are so bad that they are good. Fun. Some movies are awesome. Fun. Some movies are just bland, unoriginal or yank you right out of the rabbit hole. Not fun. It might only make sense to me, but check out the scale below, which has the Nitpix scale juxtaposed with my own numerical scale. Also, check the blog and see that almost one year ago in 2017,  I revamped the numerical scale! Something about June makes me want to rate things. Hmmm…

Click to enlarge

Holiday Movie Marathon Part II

Bad Cheese

My Santa (Netflix): Heir to the Santa throne is out and about in the world on the search for his Mrs. Claus and falls for a struggling single mother. Terribly poor production that was beyond tolerably cheesy. I didn't get past 30 minutes.

Christmas in the Smokies (Netflix): I didn't get very far, but I think this was about a family about to lose the family farm. I'm pretty sure it worked out in their favor, but I found the religious overtones too strong for my taste and, it started out boring. I didn't finish this one, either.

Christmas Crush (Netflix): Georgia decides to attend her high school reunion in hopes of winning back her high-school boyfriend. She tells a lot of lies, does a lot of ridiculous things that don't get her any closer to her goal, but in the end, of course, she gets the right guy. I finished this one, but I spent a lot of time yelling at the TV waiting for this damned movie to stop and/or waiting for the characters to stop being dumb.

So This Is Christmas (Amazon): Vivica Fox and Eric Roberts star in this awful after-school-special-like movie about a blended, mixed-race family doing everything wrong including stereotypical teenage bad and risky behavior. The beginning of the movie shows the black son being rushed to the hospital for what I believe is a gunshot. This was the worst movie of them all.

The Perfect Gift (Amazon): This movie with a terrible production value that was so predictable starred Ruben Studdard. I know it was about Christmas and him and his girlfriend planning on getting married. The rest didn't matter to me.

You Can't Fight Christmas (Netflix): Christmas interior designer versus an ambitious hotel heir. Could not keep my interest past 15 minutes.  

Holiday Movie Marathon 2017 Part I

Another ridiculous length of time has come and gone between posts on TSIMD and all I have to say is that I just haven't felt like writing. I have watched a ton of TV, online videos and movies, I've taken notes on some of them, but I just haven't felt like writing and posting, until now.

What? What pray tell, has pulled me out of my no-writing-mood? Cheesy holiday movies.

It all started the 2016 holiday season, when Ion Television started advertising their Sunday holiday movie marathons and that they even were going to premiere some all-new original movies. I knew in my heart that these were guaranteed to be cheesy and I wanted to be on my couch to view them. Unfortunately, I was busy and/or forgetful on the Sundays of the holiday season 2016 and I barely caught a few clips, but never a whole movie.

Flash forward to 2017. Thanksgiving turkey in the fridge, I turn on the TV on a Sunday morning with only housework to do and I squealed with delight when I found a cheesy holiday movie on and myself available to watch it. The following is a list of my 2017 Cheesy Holiday Movie Marathon. I got so into it, that I saw many if not most of Ion Television's offerings, I also found some holiday cheese on Netflix and Amazon, as well. Some of it was good cheese; Some of it was bad cheese, so that's the rating system I used. Enjoy!

Good Cheese

Christmas Belle (Ion): Haylie Duff (Hillary Duff's older sister. You don't remember her either, eh.) stars in this Christmas Beauty and the Beast tale. Haylie just might be the Karen Black of B holiday movies.

Back to Christmas (Netflix): Woman goes back in time to her mistaken Christmas break-up, only to find some new, old love. Gloria Loring, who plays the mom in this movie was the co-composer of the Diff'rent Strokes and Facts of Life theme songs. Everybody finds a way to shine!

A Christmas in Vermont (Ion): A marketing expert turns around a failing winter wear company and falls in love. Featuring Chevy Chase as the mean boss and the main character is played by Abigail Hawk, who also plays Baker, the commish's secretary on Blue Bloods.

Falling for Christmas (Amazon): An injured figure skater recuperating in a small mountain town learns how to slow down and enjoy life from a local handyman and his daughter. Lisa Whelchel of Facts of Life Fame plays the figure skater's mom and Lochlyn Munro, who often plays a villain or antagonist, plays the handyman's best pal.

*Naught or Nice (I suspect it was Amazon, but its not available right now.): A big city, bad boy radio host is temporarily banished to work at a small town radio station with a quiet and considerate radio host of a Dear-Abby-like call-in show. Opposites attract and apparently make for good radio, too! Starring Haylie Duff as the small town radio host. This was one of my favorites.

*Marry Me for Christmas (Netflix): NYC marketing firm owner contracts her assistant to pretend to be her fiance during her long-awaited return home to spend Christmas with her family in Atlanta. This was the only holiday cheese that had an all-Black cast and it was also one of my favorites. The guy who plays the main character's cousin, Carl Anthony Payne II, played Cole on the show Martin. And the actor who plays the main character's mom is Victoria Rowell, of Young and the Restless fame. I found that there is a series of these films. Hopefully they will be available for free next holiday season.

A Christmas Kiss (Ion): Assistant to a high-end interior designer finds herself falling for her boss' fiance. Of course the assistant wins. If that was a spoiler I recommend you take some time to learn about cheesy movies. The actor who plays the interior designer, Elisabeth Rohm, is known to me as one of the DAs on the original Law & Order, but according to her IMDB page, she gets a lot of work.

A Christmas Kiss II (Ion): Assist to a fashion magazine editor finds herself falling for her boss' brother and he for her. Elisabeth Rohm makes a cameo. Elisabeth Harnois (What are the odds that both actors spell their name that way?), who plays the assistant, is known by me as Brody from the original CSI.

*12 Dates of Christmas (Netflix): Groundhog Day with a female lead. The main character relives the same day and the same blind date 12 times. She gets it right more than once, so this feels long, even so, I thought it was good holiday cheese. Starring Amy Smart from one of my comedy favorites, Road Trip, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar of Saved By the Bell.

Christmas Inheritance (Netflix): An heiress and socialite gets sent to a small town to deliver a message to her uncle. Once arrived, she finds that her plans have to be delayed and modified due to unforeseen circumstances. She's forced to spend unanticipated time in a new place and with new people and she find herself falling in love with the town and the hotel's manager. Andie MacDowell shows up in this movie. And randomly, her uncle turns out to be a Black man, but he also turns out to be just her father's business partner, not really her uncle! Whew!

Spirit of Christmas (Netflix): Cheesy holiday romance + time suspension + rum running = this movie. A lawyer has a short time frame to make sure a bed & breakfast is sold. During her efforts, she runs into the tangible, living, breathing ghost of the house's former occupant who comes back every year, 12 days before Christmas, to live in the house. Of course, during that 12-day period, the lawyer and ghost fall in love. I won't spoil the ending of this one.

A Christmas Prince (Netflix): Not to be confused with A Prince for Christmas, A Christmas Prince is about a reporter who finagles her way into the royal residence of some unknown land, by pretending to be the princess' American tutor. She falls for the bad boy prince and he falls for her, but then there's that big ol' lie she told. Alice Krige, B-sci-fi-fantasy-movie star, plays the queen.

A Cinderella Christmas (Ion): Angie hopes to take over her uncle's event planning business from her lazy, credit-taking cousin. Then she has a Cinderella-moment during her client's event and falls for the guy her cousin wants and he for her... but can he find her after the party or will he end up with the cousin? I wrote this confusingly on purpose.

A Dogwalker's Christmas Tale (Netflix): A spoiled 20-something has to fend for herself during the holidays after she spends her allowance on an expensive watch for a boyfriend that breaks up with her and her parents jet off on a winter vacation without her. She begins to walk the neighbors dog for money and finds fulfilment with a cute dogwalker, some other friendly dog owners and a dog park that is being threatened by a local developer. Can she help save the park? Is she falling for the cute dogwalker? You know the deal.

*Christmas Mail (Ion): Santa's daughter is sent to post offices all over the world during the holiday season to respond to Dear Santa letters. This year she finds herself working in an office with an ambitious mid-level office manager, single dad and former rock musician, who falls for her and she in turn falls for him. Will her dad let her settle in one place or will she have to continue the Claus family tradition? One of my favorites!