Holiday Cheese 2018 Marathon Part II: Not Good Cheese

Cheesy movies have a low production value, usually subpar acting and the storylines have a ton of holes and therefore require viewers to suspend some of their realistic expectations. I like cheesy, b-level romance and this is my 2nd cheesy holiday romance movie marathon. The bar is set low, but the cheese level is high. On my scale, Good Cheese falls onto the So Good It’s Bad side of the scale and is obviously fun for me. Bad Cheese is not fun. Click here to read about 2018 Good Cheese.

Didn’t Finish

Homeless For the Holidays-This was a c-level production, crappy writing, terrible acting (Amazon)

A Christmas in New York- Stopped it 29 minutes in because it still felt they were setting up the stories of six couples in a NYC hotel. Good luck! (Amazon)

Home for Christmas- Stopped it 22 minutes in. Felt like they were trying too hard to be Girls-Judd-Appatow-like. And then there were very annoying close-up dialogue scenes. I don’t think this was intending to be cheesy. (Amazon)

Christmas Next Door- I gave this about 20 mins, but it just didn’t hook me. Granted, I watched this after Christmas, and by then I had had my fill of holiday romance. Even so, this just sucked.

And finally.... Bad Cheese!

Christmas Wedding Planner- For her first job, A wedding planner is working on her cousin’s Christmas wedding. She finds herself teaming up with her cousin’s ex to find dirt on the fiancée. Of course, they fall in love. Production value wasn’t bad, but the music supervisor should never be allowed to work again. The music was silly, obtrusive and often didn’t match the visual tone. There’s a lot of realism-suspension involved in watching B romance movies, but the ending of this movie called for too much. (Netflix)

Christmas with a View- Vivica Fox, Patrick Duffy, and Kaitlyn Leeb, who plays Cassandra on my favorite Canadian TV show, Heartland, star in this movie about a failed-restaurant-owner-turned- restaurant-manager who falls in love with a visiting celebrity chef looking to settle down. The potential for a successful b-holiday romance movie was there: good cast, good locations, good styling and costuming, but the writing was awful. So many incomplete scenes and conversations that went... Click here for a trailer. (Netflix)

Shadow Island Mysteries: The Last Christmas- I was a little perturbed that I actually finished this because I fell asleep the first time so I finished it a second night. So much time wasted. The fist thing that bugged me was that they used horror or edge-of-your-seat thriller music that was completely inappropriate. There was some bad editing. And overall it was cheesy in a bad way. (Amazon)

I’ll Be Homeless for Christmas- I’m actually hoarse from laughing so hard at this movie. It was the worst movie I have ever seen. The sound and editing and everything was so exceptionally bad that at less than five minutes in, I paused the movie and called my best friend to laugh with me. We ended up watching the whole 54 minutes together. Who in the hell would plan a heist to rob a homeless shelter?! Why are all the characters and extras suffering from lack of peripheral vision. Everyone’s clothes were ill-fitting. This was a hot, but entertaining-because-it was-awful mess. (Amazon)

Christmas With a Prince- Kaitlyn Leeb stars in anther sub-par holiday romance. A pediatrician is thrown off her game when she agrees to host an injured prince in her hospital ward. So many story lines were thrown in and quickly resolved it was like a 21 episode sitcom cobbled together into a 90 minute movie. Everything was a bit off: The editing, the acting, the writing, the production and costuming. Also, it was too long. There were at least two endings and the first one would have been just fine. This is produced by the same company (Brain Power Studio) that did Christmas With a View, which was also poopy.

A Firehouse Christmas- This one wasn’t all bad, but it turned into bad comedy toward the end and now it lives in Bad Cheese land.