Movie: Old (2021) **

 I wrote a long review about Old, but I accidentally deleted the note from my iPhone. Argh! So here is a more succinct version of what I can remember about why I thought Old was terrible.

1. It was too long. Old would have made a good Twilight Zone episode, which are about 24 minutes each. 

2. Too many errors. It seemed like aging wasn't happened across the board. Why didn't the rapper character age? Why did bones deteriorate, but hair and nails didn't grow? Wouldn't menstrual cycles be happening at least once an hour?

3. Blue Lagoon- Really? Just something sensational and outrageous to fill time. Just like the multiple unsuccessful attempts to escape. Time-fillers.

4. Sad crab-walking lady- The funniest scene in the movie caused me to belly-laugh out loud with a theater full of socially-distanced people. This kind of made it worth going into a theater for the first time, post Covid-closure. Kind of. 

Two stars. For the belly laugh.

ADDENDUM! 07/04/2022

I previously said "Old would have made a good Twilight Zone episode," but speculative fiction TV did cover rapid aging in the X-Files, season 2, episode 19, Død Kalm. Mulder and Scully go to Norway to investigate what seems to be a Bermuda-Triangle-like stretch of ocean from which sailors have returned prematurely aged. They find themselves on a rusty old ship where the inhabitants have aged and died or have mysteriously managed to maintain. This version of the mysterious rapid aging was executed so much better than the movie Old. Take that M. Night! Chris Carter did it better way back in 1995 and in only 45 minutes!